Let me just go ahead and say it—trying to conceive (TTC) is not for the faint of heart. It’s one thing to want a baby. It’s another thing entirely to live in the waiting, the trying, the testing, the crying, the hoping, the Googling, the “smile at baby showers while your heart breaks” zone.
And if you’ve been there—are there—you know exactly what I mean.
So, let’s talk about it. Not just the hormones, the ovulation trackers, or the vitamins (though girl, I could write a thesis on CoQ10 at this point). Let’s talk about the emotional load. The mental weight. That internal scream that builds quietly while the world goes on like nothing’s happening.
Because if we don’t take care of our mental health, the journey to fertility can slowly start to unravel us.
And that brings me to the question I get asked all the time:
“Should I try therapy, lean on my community, or pray about it?”
Sis why are we choosing?
This isn’t a buffet where you only get one scoop. It’s a fertility survival toolkit—and you need all the tools.
Let’s Start with Therapy—Yes, Talk to Someone
Some of us grew up in homes where therapy was “for people who’ve lost it.” Let me set that record straight: therapy is for people who want to find it—peace, clarity, healing, and strength.
Trying to conceive isn’t just a physical process. It takes over your thoughts, your relationships, your identity. And sometimes, the hardest part is not knowing who to talk to without feeling judged, pitied, or misunderstood.
That’s where therapy comes in.
It’s a judgment-free space to say:
- “I’m tired of smiling while dying inside.”
- “I resent my body, and I hate that I do.”
- “My partner doesn’t get it, and I feel so alone.”
- “I don’t want to go to one more christening. I just can’t.”
A good fertility therapist (yes, they exist!) can help you process grief, navigate decisions (like IVF or donor eggs), and handle anxiety when every month feels like a ticking time bomb. And no, you don’t need to be at rock bottom to go. Go because you deserve a safe space to process your story.
Next Up: Community—You Can’t Do This Alone
Let’s be honest: fertility can feel like the most isolating journey on earth.
Everyone’s posting bump pics and baby shower balloons while you’re calculating luteal phases in your Notes app and crying in the bathroom over another negative test.
That’s why you need a tribe. People who get it. People who won’t throw unhelpful clichés at you like “Just relax and it’ll happen” (eye roll). Community could look like:
- A local or online TTC support group
- A close friend who’s walked the same road
- A WhatsApp group chat that understands why you ghosted after your cousin’s gender reveal
And if you’re still building your tribe, welcome to Fertility Cliques—you’re not alone here.
Community doesn’t fix the pain, but it holds you through it. It gives you a place to cry, laugh, rant, and be seen. And sometimes, just knowing that someone else gets it is the difference between despair and resilience.
Now Let’s Talk About Prayer—Because Spirit Matters Too
Listen, even if you’re not super religious, there’s something about this journey that shakes your spirit to the core.
When every test comes back “unexplained,” and you’ve done all the diets, detoxes, and doctor appointments, you start asking the big questions:
- “God, do you see me?”
- “Why me?”
- “What am I supposed to learn in all this waiting?”
Prayer isn’t a shortcut. It’s a lifeline.
It’s not just about asking for a baby—it’s about finding peace while you wait. It’s about pouring your heart out when words fail you. It’s about anchoring your hope to something bigger than charts and statistics.
And let’s not pretend it’s always pretty. Sometimes prayer is ugly-crying on the bathroom floor saying, “God, I don’t know how to do this anymore.”
That counts.
So whether it’s a whispered “help me,” a written journal entry, or full-on spiritual warfare—bring your whole heart. There is no “right way” to pray. There’s only honesty.
But What If You’re Tired of Trying Everything?
Sis, I hear you. Maybe you’ve already tried all three—and you’re still tired.
You’re not weak. You’re human.
Sometimes we must rotate our tools. Therapy might help one season. Community may hold you up another. And some days, all you have the energy for is one deep breath and a silent prayer.
That’s okay. You’re doing your best.
Just know this: your healing isn’t linear. There’s no gold star for who suffers silently the longest. There’s no shame in reaching out again.
Let’s Normalize All the Above
There’s this silent expectation that fertility warriors should be strong all the time. Smile through pain. Stay positive. Be “the bigger person” when people say dumb things. Keep trying without falling apart.
No, ma’am. Not here.
At Fertility Cliques, we say:
- Cry if you need to.
- Ask for help again.
- Be messy and real and raw.
- And yes, use therapy. Lean on community. Pour your soul into prayer.
Because you don’t have to choose one path. You are allowed to need it all.
In Case You Need to Hear This Today…
You are not crazy.
You are not too emotional.
You are not weak for needing support.
You are walking through one of the hardest human experiences—and you are doing it with more courage than you know.
So whether you’re seeing a therapist, texting your TTC sisterhood, or whispering a prayer tonight—know that you’re fighting for your future, and that is something to be proud of.
You are not alone. You are seen. And your healing matters just as much as your hope.
Now Over to You:
What has helped you the most in your mental health journey—therapy, community, or prayer?
Come talk to us in the comments or DM.
Let’s hold space for each other—because sisterhood is also medicine.
